What to Expect with First-Time Sex?


When I had sex for the first time, I was completely unprepared for the reality of a sexual encounter. I had read romance novels as a teen. I had watched movies where couples made love. I had even listened to a contraband record (a record is a flat vinyl disk that played songs for you CD and MP3-aged readers) that I sneaked out of my parents collection on how to please a man during sex.

Still, my first sexual experience was nothing like I expected it to be. I don’t expect your first time experience either was or will be anything like you expect/ed it to be either.

Still, if you’ve never had sex, you’re probably wondering what to expect, or have some common questions about the first-time sexual experience, and I think it’s important you know the answers to those questions. I sure would have liked to have had the internet back when I was first deciding about sexual activity, so I could be better informed and more prepared!

Does First-Time Sex Hurt? Is First-Time Sex Painful?

Not necessarily, and probably not. For some woman, especially those who are small in stature and bone structure, and girls who still have a hymen intact (most do not), the first time sexual experience can be slightly painful or uncomfortable. However, even in these instances, it is not extremely painful, and what little pain there might be will quickly go away very quickly.

The pain experienced is due to one of two things 1) tearing of the hymen (if it’s still intact) and 2) vaginal dryness and stretching due to lack of arousal or proper preparation before penetration. If neither of these conditions exist, first-time sex will likely not be painful to a woman.

It’s never painful for a man, unless there is a physical problem that has not been determined.

Does a Girl Bleed During First-Time Sex?

Not usually. However, again, if the hymen hasn’t been broken, it is possible there will be a small amount of blood. Most girls’ hymen are already broken/torn long before they decide to have sex. In fact, my daughter’s gynecologist told us that a woman cannot have a menstrual period without the hymen tearing, so that any girl who menstruates has a torn hymen, and will not likely experience pain during first-time sex.

Does a Guy Ejaculate Quickly During First-Time Sex?

Not necessarily. Every man is different, and a lot of factors will determine how long it takes for a man to ejaculate, such as masturbation experience, sensitivity, how emotionally and mentally turned on he is, etc. Even sexually experienced men have different time thresholds or stimulation thresholds, and the length of time before ejaculation can change with every sexual encounter. There is no ‘right’ length of time.

Do Both People Have Orgasm During First-Time Sex?

Orgasm is not the ultimate goal to reach during sex. Still, orgasm is always good, but don’t expect it the first time you have sex, especially if you are a woman. In fact, until you become more familiar with your body, your sexual likes and dislikes and your physical and sexual responses to a partner, it might take awhile before you achieve orgasm regularly, and that is normal for some. Others might have an orgasm first time, every time, but this is less common.

Wrapping up First-Time Sex

I’ll admit to being disappointed with my first sexual experience in comparison to what I expected it to be from all I’d heard, read and seen. If you are the type to read or watch movies with sex scenes, then it’s likely you’ll also have an unrealistic vision of sex and might end up disappointed your first time too.

The good news is, with more practice, more experience, and with a committed and caring partner with whom you are comfortable, sex just gets better and better after that first time.


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